Friday, December 29, 2006

"Pure Evil"

The kids informed me today that they had found an on-line quiz to determine, in exact percentages, how evil they were. They were both very smugly satisfied that they had scored "almost 100% pure evil". I was skeptical, of course. They are relatively good and innocent kids. I haven't smelled decomposing bodies under the bed or found blood-stained shackles in the garage.

"So, what kind of questions were on this test?" I asked.

"What browser you use. Using AOL is worth a lot of evil points."
"Whether you've ever voted for a Republican."
"Do you recycle. Stuff like that."

So that's it, I guess. The idea of evil in the computerized west.

None of the questions the word 'evil' implies to me:

"Have you ever raped someone because you were bored?"
"Have you ever recorded the screams of someone that you tortured so that you could relive the moment later?"
"Have you ever prostituted your own child for drug money?"
"Have you ever killed a child because he or she wouldn't quit screaming after you whipped or burned them?"
"Have you ever had a falling-out with a neighbor because he tried to molest your daughter and you don't share?"

On and on...
So the kids and I talked for a bit about evil and trivializing things and people who think that things that annoy them or they disagree with are evil. I hope I wasn't too edgy because the test, as they described it, did offend me.


Molly said...

Sorry, Bro,
I tried. I tried really hard. I took the on-line test of evil, and 'though I struggled mightily with the dark weight of decision making, I have let you down. "Absolutely Angelic." This is how I dishonour the family name.

I really thought that biting the heads of baby chicks had turned me to your side; but, apparently this is deemed acceptable by the powers of Good, as long as the chickens are organic.

The Moody Minstrel said...

I think I took the same test. I wasn't very evil, either, but I found it hard to answer some of the questions because they were just plain irrelevant.

I guess I don't live in the same world as some people...thank goodness...or evilness...?

Anonymous said...

I earned the title of evil world dictator - you can send me all your money and I will solve all your problems.

Molly said...

Mac - How generous of you!
Money is the source of so many problems, and you are willing to take that burden from people. What a benevolent dictator you are - perhaps you could also lead a cult.

Kai Jones said...

It's a form of privilege, the privilege of the very wealthy, to focus on that minor stuff as evil.

Ben C said...

holy crap sarge did you really meet evil people like that in holding cells?