Driving my kids around last week I saw a sign for "Little Nippers Daycare."
I absolutely read it as "Little Snipers."
Wouldn't that be fun?
"Tommy, I saw you move. It's only been an hour."
"Sarah, I can hear you breathing. You aren't quiet enough."
"No, Billy, you can't go to the restroom. That's what your empty canteen is for."
Easiest, quietest job with kids ever. The gift shop would have little ghillie suits for toddlers. Of course, you could never take them on a walk in the park.
When my kids were little we would sometimes play a game I learned from my parents-- Hide and Don't Seek. I'd send them to hide and remind them to be extra still and extra quiet and that I would not only find them but stalk them silently. Then I would get done whatever job I needed the peace and quiet for. After that I would go look. "You guys did so good! It took me almost an hour to find you!"
I was not a good father.
Be Specific - Reverend White was preaching the Sunday sermon down at the 1st Baptist Church Once Removed, and he wound for the big finish: "All right, then! Who wants ...
1 day ago