A really pressing need to get away, be alone, let some of the dreck and contradiction and just slime of living in society seep away. So no one knows precisely where I am. The electronic leashes of cell phones and pagers are plugged and far away.
The trip took an odd twist early, being pulled to old significant places. A walking place in a certain park (first trembling kiss by moonlight with K). Dorms, each one bringing a name and face out of shadows of memory. Dancing and eating places that no longer exist. A giant flag.
I turned away from one door where I knew I would be welcome, but my own sense of past was getting overwhelming.
So for two days, old places. Old memories. This is really strange for me. I live in the present. For the most part the past is an advisor, a teacher. It's rare even for me to remember almost anything specifically. I can, I just don't bother any more than I watch movies a second time or re-read books unless I have something to clarify.
I took pictures of the cliff where Jake saved my stupid ass. Other stuff. Climbed just a little. Worked with the boken in surf up to my waist. Slept under a nearly full moon in a rare (for this region) hard freeze.
Still not done, still cleaning out. Just feeling things shift.
I'm so glad, I think this is important for you.
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDeleteYou struck me as a man who had his head on pretty straight. If that's the case, you can work the rest of it out.
ReplyDeleteEven those parts where, you know, you're just wrong and all ...