Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Basic Jailin'

Frustrated today, and I'm going to try to turn it into something useful.

Today, off the top of my head, subject to change without notice, Rory's Rules of Jailin':

1) Being a jail guard is a very easy, very safe job for smart people who pay attention and a very difficult, dangerous job for stupid people who don't pay attention.

2) The officer wants the dorm clean, quiet and safe. So do the inmates.
Corollary- if all involved parties basically want the same thing, it shouldn't be a daily battle.

3) Asking an angry or upset crook what his goal is can cut through a lot of bullshit- "What's your goal, son?" "I want out of this fucking cell you piece of shit! Let me out or I'll kill you!" "How does yelling and making threats work for getting you out of your cell?" "Oh."

4) Keep your word.
Corollary- don't give your word if you will have trouble keeping it or it would be wrong to follow through.
Second corollary- ALWAYS follow through.

5) Being a talker (which is 90% being a good listener) is good.

6) Being a fighter is good.

7) Being both and being able to switch between the two without hesitation is essential.

8) Your reputation as a fighter will prevent 50% of the fights.

9) Your reputation for being fair and consistant will prevent 90% of them.

10) Paying attention to the dynamics in the module and acting early will prevent even more.

And a general rule for life: You can take yourself seriously or you can take the world seriously but NEVER both at the same time.


Molly said...

Sounds like pretty good rules for raising children, too.

Anonymous said...

The word corollary is awesome.

Anonymous said...

And if I have time before the monkey dance begins, the last thing before the music starts is eye contact. I want them to see me looking; to look in my eyes and see the price of admission. It's also an excellent way to tell if new officers have what it takes to not only survive, but prosper, to make life better for them and for those who have no concern for others. And since awareness is a two-way street, to perhaps affect others via transmission of PowerLove (oh, yeah - gonna trademark this one! make millions on the lecture circuit, buy a lot of cool stuff to enhance my self-esteem).