I was offended yesterday. In most cases, that takes some doing.
A friend and brother, someone I love and have long admired, introduced me to his biological brother. The conversation went well. From his stories he responded to challenges head on, as I usually do, and he likes a good fight.
The conversation drifted to wives and how difficult they can be to communicate with- particularly the balance of control, confidence, companionship and autonomy that a woman needs to feel. The line between taking us, as husbands for granted and smothering out of fear of losing us.
He shared his story- how his wife unreasonably kept bringing up an affair he had two years ago. What a bitch.
That burned me. I don't have a lot of deep sexual mores, beyond the ability for all involved to form informed and responsible consent. But I have serious issues with broken promises and trust. He felt it was natural- any man with the opportunity would act on it. Hiding it was only natural. Getting caught happens. The person betrayed needs to get over it...
The lack of integrity, that he would swear an oath (and marriage vows involve some very specific oaths), that he would lie to and hide things from someone who he has agreed to share his life with is enough, in my mind, to discount him completely as a man. That he would then turn around and blame the victim blew me away.
I guess I'm just old-fashioned.
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