That a sure sign I'm getting to the end of the piece. It's partially the writing- each identifiable part of the language is leaping at me: "See spot run." Hits me as VERB(predicate)-SUBJECT- VERB(accusative)... GODDAMN IT! WHERE'S the OBJECT of the sentence? An implied 'You'??!!? Damnit!
It's also physical. The bench I like to write on which has always been just fine was too short yesterday. The keyboard wobbled. Other things suddenly seem important. I should be beyond playing games with myself and in some things I am. Writing isn't one of them. What I do will affect a few people. What I write could affect many. If you write (or paint or perform music or even fight) for others, you are putting your soul out there. Out to be judged. Possibly to be hammered. Almost always by people who have never taken a similar risk.
It's not a big deal. I'm a big boy and if I'm not pretty comfortable with what I have to say I keep my mouth shut. My unconscious is less mature and has its own reasons. When "Meditations" came out it affected my life. Mostly in positive ways but in a few very negative ones. The monkey part of my brain cringes at the negative. Whatever.
It's go time. A last little push, feedback from some first readers, then re-write and possibly co-opt some research help (it sucks being this far away from my library).