Yesterday, I was pissed at doing a good job. I like working and keeping busy and solving problems. Side effect is that I get most of the must-do special projects that come up. Normally, that makes me happy. The regular job is good- talking to inmates and officers, preventing things from blowing up or jumping on them when they just start to flare or dealing with it when it goes entirely to hell- but if you've been doing it well for awhile it doesn't usually take a lot of time or effort. Doing the minimum required I have literally finished all the required tasks for an eight hour shift of both a sergeant AND a lieutenant in 36 minutes. So 1) I never do the minimum and 2) I welcome extra projects.
Sometimes it bothers me. Usually because a sensitive and important thing that should have been handled immediately has been held for sixteen hours, waiting for me to come on shift. That's incompetent and potentially dangerous and makes things harder. It annoys me.
But I get pissed when it's a made-up busy work job, completely without meaning. For instance, doing something that you did a month ago (when it was needed) just because a piece of equipment that would have been useful then has now arrived. Just off the top of my head, replacing a bunch matresses not because they need replacing, oh, no, you did that last month- but replacing them because you now have a dumpster that would have been really handy last month.
Sorry. I'm being petty.
Today was the good side of it: "Rory, we need another instructor for ConSim." So I got to help run a class on street survival and get shot a couple of times.
"Sarge, we've got one going off. We're going to need the taser." But I got to talk her down.
"Hey, one of the psych guys is refusing to take his meds- can you talk to him?" Done.
None of these were from my assigned sector. My sector was quiet. It usually is. I like doing a good job.
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The physical (technical), the mental (tactical), spiritual (strategic). I've had 5 separate careers from combat medic to librarian to cop - I get bored too - so I switch jobs that require higher skills, more energy, more zanshin. But each thing that we do, that happens - the feelings toward it are just a reflection of our own limitations - of the limiting permissions we give ourselves. True bliss lies in the Void, in the ability to affect ourselves, others, the environment. And then there's excitement in being a food processor, a janitor, a mill worker, even - and who knows - a homeless person.
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